Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Let's get one thing straight: parenting sucks.

Oh sure, there are those moments where you feel brilliant for pro-creating. First recital, first touchdown, first time getting through church without having the priest ask if he'd like us to perform an exorcism, etc. 

You know...the special moments. 

More often than not, parenting is like a marathon. There are ups and there are downs and - in the end -you're tired, sore and you just want a beer. Badly.

If you were looking for a "happy, touchy feely" parenting blog where we extoll the virtues of our Precious Angels, then go somewhere else.

The 5 authors of this blog will be tackling all of the important aspects of parenting like what to do when there’s poop in the tub, how to make an entire meal from the crumbs under that car seat and what is the lime to tequila ratio for perfect margaritas. We’ll be handling these issues with class, style and honesty, or in the event that those things are unavailable to us, sarcasm and fabrication. Why do we have 5 authors for this blog? Because we couldn’t find a 6th (and Amy is a crapshoot at this point, so it's nice to have extras.)

Let us introduce ourselves:

Amy. Amy’s a Mormon which is funny in itself because of all the stereotypes that just flooded into your head. Amy fits every single one of those stereotypes, probably. Have you ever heard of a Mormon mom writing a blog that wasn’t funny? Can’t think of any can you? Exactly. Oh, and the first person to ask how many sister wives she has gets punched. Don’t be an idiot, leave that to us.

Razz. Razz is a Nebraska fan and an Apple fanboy so if you send us a funny video that requires flash then you had best not send it to Razz because his iPad/iPhone/iTouch can’t iPlay it. Razz is also a teacher, which means he’s not just responsible for his own kids, he’s also shaping the future of this country. Chilling.

Nitmos. Nitmos is so dedicated to being the uncool Dad that he still uses AOL. That’s really all you need to know about him. I think he also moonlights as a Llama jockey in his spare time.

Niki. I don’t know Niki well enough to make lots of derogatory remarks about her which is unfortunate because it’s what I do best. I can tell you that Niki has twins, which means that she has twice the ‘joy’ of being a parent.

Ian. Finally, there’s me. I’m the funny, handsome one that everyone now hates for all of the above descriptions. (Guys, please don’t edit this to say something mean!)

All complaints about this blog should be directed to Ian. Even if he didn't write it.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, what an awesome, awesome blog. This Ian character is hilarious.

    (WTH? Why can't I comment anonymously?)